The point of this evaluation is not to get a score number, but to grow and learn. To make a choice. The choice to love. To keep working, believing, changing, forgiving. Continually getting better at loving your spouse well.
So once you've answered these few simple questions, take advantage of everything listed in your feedback report. And be sure to come back soon, as often as you like, to take the evaluation again and track your progress.
This test is just for you. So be honest. Be yourself. Let it feel like a fresh start.
Dare to love.
Below you'll see a quick snapshot of your evaluation. You can always take it again to compare results, or let your spouse take it with you to match up your answers with their perceptions.
Don't try to tackle improvements all at once in all seven areas. Choose a focus for just this week, and lead your heart to grow in that direction. See what you can learn. And always keep growing in love.
"It is a joy to be hidden," said D. W. Winnicott, "but a disaster not to be found." Attention means that we are noticed, that our words, feelings, and experiences are heard. It is the opposite of being ignored, of feeling invisible in our own homes. Attention communicates respect and interest. It requires looking and listening. As Oscar Wilde once said, "Any duck can hear what I say, but only a person can listen to me."
When you give your spouse attention, you are saying that they matter. As one newlywed said to a counselor, "I've realized that when they say 'marriage takes work,' the real 'work' of marriage is a constant battle against selfishness." Fighting to be unselfish will make us more attentive.
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